Locked in my own home

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Yesterday, I gave you a great rundown of my weekend (here).  But, what I failed to mention was that I was also locked in my house because of my greatest fear.

Just let me tell you about that really quickly.

Some people hate spiders.  Others are deathly afraid of bees.  I, Sherri Schwartz, cannot handle a snake.  And when I say cannot handle, I mean I will scream the high-pitched scream of an eight-year-old girl and out run that sucker like I am Lolo Jones and training for the Olympics.

On Friday, we had a gentleman over at our new house to give us a quote on putting a fence in the backyard.  Russell was at work and Ryan was napping.  I stepped out on my covered patio to meet the guy in my backyard and there, in it's most terrifying glory, was a SNAKE.  I screamed, jumped on my patio furniture, and demanded the guy kill it.  He looked at it, told me it wasn't poisonous, and waved it off saying, "Oh, it's a teeny black snake."

Um, sir, I don't care.

A snake is a snake, which in my world means it has to die.

After I sternly told him he must do something about it, he motioned towards it, but the darn snake ran off and went into MY PATIO POST.  No, it couldn't run out of my yard, it had to camp out in my patio.

So what did I do?  I ran into my house, watched the guy finish the quote from my window, and then camped out all day long waiting for the snake to come out and leave me alone.  Even when Ryan woke from his nap, I grabbed him, and we sat there the rest of the afternoon waiting for the snake.

At one point, the snake started to creep out of the post, so I tried to step outside and grab Ryan's plastic ball bat to beat the heck out of it.  As soon as I grabbed the bat, the snake went back into hiding.

Darn it.

When Russell got home, it was still in hiding.  I literally prayed that night that it would go away over night.

Did it?  Nope, that sucker played games with me for two days!  Finally, we spread some moth balls and Snake-A-Way around it and it scurried along.

And while I know it is finally gone, I still can't help but do a very slow and calculated walk by the window to just double check senor snake didn't come back.

If you are reading this mister snake, I am watching you...